SOMETIMES I think someone is filming “Wild Kingdom” in our neighborhood, especially this time of year.
Last week, I had the annual spring ritual of a bird falling down the chimney into the fireplace, which annoyed me to no end, but got the cat so excited he tried to jump through the glass doors.
I have a fish net to deal with such occurrences, one that surrounds the front of the fireplace and catches the bird when I open the door and he flies out.
This one I could not catch and he didn’t die in the fireplace. Somehow that little booger got out, doing a Houdini up the chimney.
That same day my daughter, who does not live in the neighborhood, was dealing with birds in her attic. I have occasionally told her she had bats in her belfry, but I never suspected birds in the attic.
My son, meanwhile, had pigeons in the attic of his downtown apartment. Crazy!
But back to my neighborhood. While I was dealing with the bird in the chimney, I got a text message from a neighbor warning me that something was tearing down the bird feeders in her yard.
What else but a bear? Yep, this is about the time of year when the mamas (around Mother’s Day) kick out their 18-month-old cubs and send them into the world on their own. And no, they do not allow them to return home and live in the basement.
There is nothing crazier than a teenage bear looking for its own territory. Those critters will travel for 100 miles or more trying to find themselves (without a psychiatrist) and search for food in everything from trashcans to bird feeders.
Some neighbors were not certain that it really was a bear until the mail lady saw him early one afternoon while making her rounds. That convinced everyone, because once a representative of the U.S. government makes a declaration, well, you know it is the gospel truth.
Almost all the neighbors were anxious to see the bear move on, primarily because of his perceived political persuasion. Those on the left side of the road were sure he was a Republican because of his aggressive behavior. After all, it seemed that this guy had declared war on bird feeders.
But those on the right side of the road were just as sure that this adolescent bruin was a Democrat because he was eating food that others had worked for and labored to make available for the birds.
During this heated debate, my cat disappeared and some suggested the bear had gotten him. I, on the other hand, thought he had become a meal for a litter of baby coyotes.
At about the same time, there appeared a red fox that was raising pups down behind another neighbor’s house, and then came the groundhog that was sneaking out from under the barn and eyeing my bean patch.
Everything has finally calmed down. No one has seen the bear in a week or so and no more birds have done their Santa Claus impression and come down the chimney.
My daughter got some guy to come and get the birds out of her chimney, while the landlord has promised to do something about my son’s pigeons.
My cat wandered back after a couple of days, kinda beat up, but with a smile on his face, so he must have had a wild time somewhere.
As for the bear, we never did decide whether he was a Republican or a Democrat. Maybe, since he was all alone, he was an independent.
Still, I know what he is going to be if he gets in my garden—a rug in front of the fireplace!
That will give the cat a soft place to lie in wait for the next bird that comes down the chimney.
Fur and feathers. That’s what country life is all about.
About Pigeon Patrol:
Pigeon Patrol Products & Services is the leading manufacturer and distributor of bird deterrent (control) products in Canada. Pigeon Patrol products have solved pest bird problems in industrial, commercial, and residential settings since 2000, by using safe and humane bird deterrents with only bird and animal friendly solutions. At Pigeon Patrol, we manufacture and offer a variety of bird deterrents, ranging from Ultra-flex Bird Spikes with UV protection, Bird Netting, 4-S Gel and the best Ultrasonic and audible sound devices on the market today.
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